Words written by my mother in a letter to me my Senior year of high school. The year after high school was spent away from Indianapolis, IN. Away from my family, exploring who I was and trying to build my own foundation in life (which come to find out, the foundation of my life was already quite solidly and well laid. It's what was on top of that foundation that needed demolishing and rebuilding). I learned during that time, that while it was possible to live away from my family, that I didn't want to.I love my family and over the years I have learned more from them than I can begin to put into words or thoughts. My family has always led me to God and God has always led me right back to my family. However, in the last couple years these words have come back to pester the frail sense of stability that I have finally begun to find in my life. I have spent the 6 years, over half of those years in therapy, searching and yearning for some stability in my life. I don't like ambiguity in life and change never arrives at my door step without his cousins apprehension and panic. I have finally found a job that is never surprising, the same week in and week out. I have lived in the same apartment for 17 months now and have stayed at my current place of employment for 15 months; both record breakers in my book. I have a dog that I brings enjoyment into my life and provides me with companionship. I have found a Church that for the first time in my whole life I walk into and feel at home. Even as I write this down, I can feel myself calming down. It looks so good on paper, exactly what I've been looking for! Yet, every day I feel God is slowly pushing me out the door onto my next adventure....
"Remember this is not your home." These words keep popping up in my head, shortly followed by that story in the Bible about how we need to be willing to leave our family to follow Him if he asks such from us (Mark 10:29). For the past 2 years, I have had a pull inside me to go to Ireland. I don't know why, but I do know that God wants me to go there. The last few months, the pull had become stronger and stronger and with this pull comes change and his two cousins. In my head I have no problem leaving. I know that that this world is not my home and I am here only momentarily to do the work of God before coming home to Him. I know this in my head and have come to peace with it. My heart, on the other hand is having trouble with leaving. This is a "tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme" with me; I yearn for stability, yet when I find it, God pulls me away. I have come to realize why He does this. When I have stability, my life becomes like stagnant lake. Peaceful, but begins to grow algi and scum pods. For this reason, I am glad that I am being called to new adventures. I need to dust off the old hiking boots and clean the mothballs off my duffel. However, this also means getting rid of all the things that have accumulated in my life over the last 17+ months. I am not a clutter nut, but I am nostalgic and probably keep things I should have gotten rid of years ago (like those dollar store valentines from 2nd grade). So, before I start on the next Grand Adventure of my life, God is presenting the challenge before me of getting rid of all my stuff that I have and consolidating my life into a hope chest, 1 plastic storage tub, and two duffel bags.
And so the Adventure begins.....
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